Freakin date!
Hay…should be having a date today.. But unfortunately it was cancelled what i hated most is, its right away…kung kelan nakabihis kna and all, he will tell u na sa wed nalang kc wala pa kapatid nya.. Cguro nga it wasnt meant for us to go out.. I can still remember one time.. Pnaghintay nya ko sa trinoma for 2 hrs, then sunddenly he told me na nakalimutan nya n may usapan kmi kc madami tao..so thats it? Cguro nga d tlga meant na lumabas kasi.. Im sick of everything :( why am i still holding on for nothing? Alam ko nman na it wont work out n tlga, why would i still give a damn.. All are just shit and lies! Its always that i end up crying.. I know isang araw gigising nalang ako na pagod n ako at ayaw ko na.. Im looking forward for that day to come ü i know malapit na sya ü i just hope na it will be very soon na like tomorrow? I wanna give up na tlga.. They are right, from the start ur not really worth it at all… Im just wasting my freakin time with you.. Wala naman ako mapapala e.. Iiyak at iiyak lang ako.. Yes frances is right that im better off without him.. Yes i am better ü slowly nman i know i can stand without him…
Nandun na kasi ako eh! Tanga ko lang bumalik pa ako!
:( hay :( all of a sudden im here again trapped with this freakin reality that WE CANNOT GO BEYOND FRIENDS.. Yes im still hoping for a possibility of him liking me.. Hay but its never gonna happen..im trying very hard already trying all my best.. Paulit ulit nalang.. Lagi ko din cnasabi nakakapagod na..pagod n ako but still, im here chasing after you.. Wtf! Whats with u ba that i dont see in others?
Needle knife :(
Been sick for the past 4 days cant even go to work :( had this very serious pain in my lower abdomen and lower back..have gone thru many test already blood, urine, stool…not until i had my pelvis xray… The radiologist said that there is a soft shadow life tissue that was seen in my ovary so its not clear thats why she advice me to have an ultrasound in my uterus.. She also mentioned that my lumbar spinal shrink a little maybe bcoz of my childhood trauma, but according to her its okay. So i went to ultrasound, while doing it i keep on asking the nurse if theyve seen something in my uterus bcoz according to the radiologist, there was this small thingy in my ovary..she said there was none and its probably just my bone..while searching they found a myoma about 0.9cm, i was shocked coz im too young to have them :( i started to think and researched on why women got this myoma.. They said there is no cure for myoma :( i then panicked.. We then agreed to check on obstetrician today.. When i woke up this morning i feel better. So i took a bath and went to the office.. 10am this morning my back starts to hurt like a hell again so my aunt and i went to a chinese doctor in gandara.. This doctor is famous in doing acupuncture.. Upon seeing my xray results, he immediately to us that i have this lumbar spine fracture and should be cured immediately or else i wont be able to poo and pee and even walk sometime soon..i was so afraid.. He told us that i need to have atleast 30sessions of needle knife in order to get better.. My aunt called my mom to ask if she will allow me to do the needle knife then she talked with the doctor.. After the conversation, i talked with my mom.. She told me to do it na.. I was really afraid and even cried.. To cut the story, i did my first needle knife today.. It was really painful. Really painful that whenever he inserted a needle into my spine and pump it, it feels like dying.. 6 needles where inserted in my spine today and more to go.. Im so afraid that i keep on crying until we reached home. I fall asleep while crying and when i woke up i felt better ü but i dont look forward it doing it again on monday :( hope that everythings gonna be fine… Xoxo
=)
Just had our youth friendship meeting a while ago..i shared my experiences from believing in my religion. It feels so great to inspire alot of people with my story :) though im encountering lots of problems, i am still thankful coz i knw it will mold me into a better person..sometimes there are things that we want to be ours but it seems like watever we do to get them, we can nver hav the chance to because they are simply not really for us. There are still plenty of things and challenges that are waiting for us. All we hav to do is to wait for what in it for us. Id like to do more xtra activities everyday so that i could enjoy and help other people while im still young..there are plenty of reasons to be happy. I am so lucky right now..i hav lots of friends and i knw lots of people loves me too.. I want to stay happy forever :) i knw i can get thru this very soon :)
Crying like there’s no tomorrow :’(
Been crying for a month already..every night bfore going to sleep, its a routine to shed a tear for someone who doesnt care nor love me.. I always tell myself na enough na enough na you’re not getting any better… But still why do i keep on holding on? Im sooo tired already! So freakin tired…feels like i wanna die… Yes this wasnt my first heartbreak. My first one is far more worst than this one. But i think i was more deeply attached to this guy rather than my ex.. Tonight he told me that frm the start frend lng tlga turing nya sakin. So i was fooled by him… So stupid! Such a stubborn person :( ayaw ko kasi makinig sa cnasabi ng iba..i kept on fighting what i believe wud be best.. Actually im almost there na and dumating na ako dun sa pt na 15 days no communications at all.. Pero heto ako si tanga, again txted him so pra lang tong life cycle ng frog or butterfly na paulit ulit lng. TANGA ko kasi so stupid… I swear after getting thru this i wont fall so hard and quickly to any one else… And i wont waste a tear for someone who doesnt deserv like him.. 我恨你！心真的好痛苦。有时候我觉得我想死了。 :( hay… My auntie once told me that if u know how to enter a situation u must knw how to find a way to get out. Maybe for now, i cant totally forget it but i believe sooner or later i can na. Good night! :)
